In the heat of SUMMER BLISS /

Feel the heat/ Thursday, June 29, 2006

oh man, im really going crazy lah, so stress abt not studying man. its so hard to discipline myself to focus lah. like lock myself in the house and with all my notes and books, i feel like im going to die soon. kill me.
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and bad bad bad news!!!!! my stupid dumb school are going to have lessons for us till 6plus 7. after school hours, remedial till 6. consultation till 7. im really so going to die, kill me. kill me!
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and tt crazy school, implement a new rule! girls have to pinned up our hairs if it touches our eyebrows and the side. arghh, dumb school with dumb rule. arghh! now i look like a super nerd. not everyone will pinned of course like alot in my class, but i still pinned them up lah. endure for 4more months and man, BYE to my school FOREVER lah. *ssscccreammmm* kill me.
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and and.. i need to have more more more discipline. to stay away from computers and tv shows. man, no life, so super no life. but well, like i said, 4 more months man, get it over and done with lah!
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and for now, before i leave blogger, i want to say ,man im so gonna miss all of these man. blogging, spending time w pple, seeing tags, being online, write cards, on the phone, going to CAFE! and lots lots lah. and i will so miss under construction, IDentified,stayovers. man, yongling is going to be stuyding hard, the sky falling! laugh it out pple.
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okays after so much for crapping and complaining, pls pple, pray for me ya? keep praying, tt i will really have the discipline to study and pray tt God will help me to focus and despite of studies, i will still be accountable to pple ard and tt i will not neglect pple ard me. thanks pple.(:
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and and hey! this sunday is youth day service!2July2006 calling all youths. :D pls come to WEFC(woodlands)
9am service starts.
we will have a great time worshipping:) and for those who dont know the LORD, come experience his unfailing love. xD
we will be having youths sports/games after the service! come come :D

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dont just try, say you can do it and you can
yongling-

you completed my life..
5:58 AM <3
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Feel the heat/ Sunday, June 25, 2006

tmr is a new school term, im partly excited and partly scare. but i know there's no point talking abt it as everything will be fine tmr. ya? =) and my God's bigger.

past week-
well, i had lots fun having daryl, benn and sarah over to watch soccer the other day. brazil VS japan. hahaa, and tt's the 1st time i see sarah go crazy, "kaka! kaka! go kaka!" hahhaa. oops, better dont let her see this, heh. but anyway, thanks to benn, we had 7-eleven sandwiches and drinks. and well, we had sharing too! really love how we are comfortable sharing:) and benn shared with us how we should keep loving one another, keeping a lookout for one another and constantly leading others closer to Jesus. and guess what? we had MAC's breakfast at 4.30am and man, we went to sleep after tt, hahaa okays me and sarah. and benn left at 6plus and yah, so its one of the best day i ever had. :D
thru the holis, my life is all abt floorball man. hahha! really, almost everyday floorball and well, i know i have SO neglected my studies. and alot of times i forgot my focus, the reason i study and know with lucille knocking some sense in me, i guess i really need to put my heart and soul in it. and before i could do tt, praying tt i will survive tmr, i bet i will be so SCARE till i rather die immediately. in front of the whole school lah, oh man, kill me. :(
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alot of things have been happening thru the whole holiday. well, matters concerning myself, and matters with others. but again, i thank God for everything tt had happened, cos its His plan:) and to those i had hurt, in ways tt i do realised and even in ways i dont know:
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amanda:
hey dear, since the day u step into this church i really thank God for you. and im so sure tt God will bring you and lead you into something tt He wants you to do. im really sorry. but im really not sure what i have done, but i know when the time is right, you will tell me. im sorry.

beryl:
what to say? im just sorry.

caryn-
thankyou for letting me know you care abt this friendship and you really are willing to follow Christ. i really want build up this friendship=)

daryl-
im glad you made your choice and i will be praying for a joyful heart for both you and us. and ya! im glad God's working and ya, trust on:) there's so much to thank God for you. strive on, shine in schoool.

anyway, SCHOOL TMR :D rejoice ya? it applies to me tooooo.

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oh pls be praying for the sports ministry. and captains of various sports, let me challenge you to be praying and trust tt God will show us the way.we must really have the same common goal in other to be examples for our members and to lead them to where God wants us to go. okays? keep tt challenge in your hearts and keep going. =) prayers must come before revivial. =)

by the grace of God i will carry on,
yongling:)

you completed my life..
5:50 AM <3
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tmr is a new school term, im partly excited and partly scare. but i know there's no point talking abt it as everything will be fine tmr. ya? =) and my God's bigger.

past week-
well, i had lots fun having daryl, benn and sarah over to watch soccer the other day. brazil VS japan. hahaa, and tt's the 1st time i see sarah go crazy, "kaka! kaka! go kaka!" hahhaa. oops, better dont let her see this, heh. but anyway, thanks to benn, we had 7-eleven sandwiches and drinks. and well, we had sharing too! really love how we are comfortable sharing:) and benn shared with us how we should keep loving one another, keeping a lookout for one another and constantly leading others closer to Jesus. and guess what? we had MAC's breakfast at 4.30am and man, we went to sleep after tt, hahaa okays me and sarah. and benn left at 6plus and yah, so its one of the best day i ever had. :D
thru the holis, my life is all abt floorball man. hahha! really, almost everyday floorball and well, i know i have SO neglected my studies. and alot of times i forgot my focus, the reason i study and know with lucille knocking some sense in me, i guess i really need to put my heart and soul in it. and before i could do tt, praying tt i will survive tmr, i bet i will be so SCARE till i rather die immediately. in front of the whole school lah, oh man, kill me. :(
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alot of things have been happening thru the whole holiday. well, matters concerning myself, and matters with others. but again, i thank God for everything tt had happened, cos its His plan:) and to those i had hurt, in ways tt i do realised and even in ways i dont know:
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amanda:
hey dear, since the day u step into this church i really thank God for you. and im so sure tt God will bring you and lead you into something tt He wants you to do. im really sorry. but im really not sure what i have done, but i know when the time is right, you will tell me. im sorry.

beryl:
what to say? im just sorry.

caryn-
thankyou for letting me know you care abt this friendship and you really are willing to follow Christ. i really want build up this friendship=)

daryl-
im glad you made your choice and i will be praying for a joyful heart for both you and us. and ya! im glad God's working and ya, trust on:) there's so much to thank God for you. strive on, shine in schoool.

anyway, SCHOOL TMR :D rejoice ya? it applies to me tooooo.

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oh pls be praying for the sports ministry. and captains of various sports, let me challenge you to be praying and trust tt God will show us the way.we must really have the same common goal in other to be examples for our members and to lead them to where God wants us to go. okays? keep tt challenge in your hearts and keep going. =) prayers must come before revivial. =)

by the grace of God i will carry on,
yongling:)

you completed my life..
5:50 AM <3
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Feel the heat/ Thursday, June 22, 2006

yeah! im so happy.

soccer at my place tonight! with benn, daryl and sarah:D:D and ya we going to have sharing! <333333>

hahaha alrights ending here, watching show now, and my ankle hurts like crazy!

arghh, kinda miss kor!

you completed my life..
6:26 AM <3
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Feel the heat/ Wednesday, June 21, 2006

MAN! FLOORBALL WAS GOOD TODAY. altho i still look sians and all. :) thanks daryl, tt was a great pass:D
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hmmm had dinner with sarah, lucille. caryn and amanda just now at PASTAmania:) a dinner tt i always wanted to had and of course the talk i want to have with them. im encouraged by how these girls strive to shine for Christ and how they never stop trying. and looking at their lives, i really thank God for calling them into His kingdom and showing them goodness all the times. i thank God for enabling me to related to them, the struggles tt they are going thru. i really can and well, God's amazing. the things they say and struggled with, are the same things i struggled with the past years. when we left pastamania, i felt a sense of fear, fear of what's lies ahead of us. new school term, new CG, new experiences, new pple ard me, new working styles with pple and new challenges. and suddenly, i felt tt satan is always on the move, to shake us.be alert ya?:)
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i have been really different. the way im in school and the way im in church. and i hate to be like that. i want to be the same yongling wherever i m. and i know recently my temper had been really bad and my attitude sucks. i feel like i had lost so much joy, really nature joy. without me having to smile and pretend. oh man, i really miss being yongling. :( and yes im very prideful. i really hope to be more teachable sometimes.
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wanting to type so much and say so much but i really dont know how to say. maybe frankie's right. i had stopped sharing much abt feelings and myself after daddy left.

*nothing but memories.
yongling.

you completed my life..
7:34 AM <3
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Feel the heat/ Tuesday, June 20, 2006

like how i agree with daryl, it has really been LONG since i blogged. =) holidays are coming to an end very soon and somehow looking bac kat how i spent the holidays, i have been playing all the way. floorball after floorball=) im so undisciplined.

well lets talk about today. today i had dinner with lucille, sarah and sam. yacht club's nice:) and well, the food is nice too! and the most important thing is that the talking and discussion over CG matters got me thinking and help me set my mind on what God really wants me to do.i know that i have always wanted to be a CG leader to lead God's pple spiritually and i know i wanted to be part and involved in missions. and my heart goes out to those in other countries whom haven know Christ and you know, i really wanna see revivial! esp in east timor.i sense tt is somewhere God wants me to serve in. but for now, i guess i need to focus more on spiritual growth and helping pple to grow which leads me to CG :)

under construction-
its been joy seeing our cg becoming so close thru the years and splitting is definately going to be so trying for alot of us. i was so doubting my own ability and calling to serve as a leader in the very near future, but after dinner and talk just now, i felt so refreshed again to go out to fight. to continue to stand for Christ and yes indeed, all God needs from us is willingness, that willingness to serve, to learn, to trust and of course to obey. and again thru it all, God will be there to hold us. in this new CG, somehow i know i got alot more responsibility but i also know tt im so not alone, im feeling rather excited about this new challenge ahead but in this excitement, there's this little bit of fear. fear of rejection, fear of not doing good enough, fear of not being able to gain respect. and now learning to work with pple, pple with same passion but different viewpoint.

sports ministy-
so much have been going on and i guess alot of us, our passion had decreased alot. but again, i thanked God for calling me to serve in this aspect and in this moulding me, helping me to see things from his viewpoint and being patient with pple and even myself. there's so much discouragement at times and when things are really not going smoothly, i see God's hands reaching out to me, and then i will realised tt all i really need is to stop trying in my strength and reach to Him. easier said than done?, i know:) but well, God have been so real in my life and i can definately testify to His goodness. i know i said it alot of times before =, but im gonig to say again, im still trusting God for tt harvest in sports ministry and i know God will work in His ways. even when im feeling so alone running this whole thing, i know maybe alot of others felt the same way too. im glad tt God has gone before me and He really understands.

me-
past few days have been very trying for me. to really in a sense surrender to Christ's strength and love. im actually quite prideful and in a way im quite spoilt. i want things my way most of the time. and being a Christian few years back, i learned to trust in God way. but slowly down the journey, i started to leave God outta of the pic. and i come to realise how small im standing alone without God recently. and how i really cant do much myself.and sometimes i will ask myself, " cant i do it my way?", " i wanna live my life my way". but again, i thank God tt He is God and He sees everything,the past, present, future. and being God He knows what's the best for me:) ytd was the day man. first time, sarah saw me cry so hard. i seldom cry so hard, i know im sad but everytime i cry after service, i tell myself i must be okays cause there's still Cg later. and everytime mummy talks about daddy, i wont cry i will hold back my tears cause i know if i cry, mummy will cry very badly too. and thru the whole funeral i look fine and ya i din cry so hard at all, at most drop few drops of tears. i know i cant take it anymore and there's alot of things happening in my life.i know im not the only one so ya, cheer up:) i once heard from one of my closest sister, lucille, tt "yongling you are strong not because you dont cry but because you cried." im always so encouraged by these words. seriously, i dont understand y, y me, y my daddy and yes, there's alot of y. but somehow thru all these questions, there lie a purpose, part of God good plan for my life. i have always thought tt last year was a year that was so hard to go thru, esp when funeral was 2 weeks before Nlevels. and finally when everything was over and its a brand new year! but again, i felt that this year is another year of struggling, struggling to surrender to God. a challenge towards me physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. past few days i really almost give up. i felt so, i-m-such-loser kinda feeling.i cant find that joy in me anymore. all i see is sadness and meaningless. but again, i thanked God for the affirmation from alot of things/pple. i just miss daddy. i miss watching soccer matches with him, miss gonig east coast and changi airport with him. =)

daryl-
hey! i know you will be reading. so ya, here's something for you. i wanted to write a card but oh well, my handwritting is really bad. heh. i just wanna say, my life have been diff since you came to WEFC. i seldom see guys having so much passion for Christ. you can say tt its our lives tt spour you on, but i want to say also tt, you have encourages me so much. to continue to hold on and to trust on even when i dont see God working. thankyou for being so willing to share and to love the pple ard you. you are not alone, trust me, we are running with you. and at this point of your life when you are making decision to stay/ leave, i will be praying tt God will be with you and tt He will give you wisdom. keep going ya? i see your passion for the lost and i know God have a great purpose in store for you and when you feel tt nothing happening and tihngs doesnt go your way, God is still working, in His perfect ways:) stay joyful k? i thanked God for a brother like you. RUN ON:D

*all i could ever ask for.is YOU
yongling.

you completed my life..
7:41 AM <3
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Feel the heat/ Friday, June 16, 2006

worldcup fever! i know this entry about worldcup comes abit too late, but oh well. :D

i like ARGENTINA!- they are damm GOOD. :D

but...

if you know me..

i really LOVE ENGLAND! :D:D -but i know they may not win.

i think argentina have a higher chance. but i love both:D:D

you completed my life..
8:27 AM <3
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Feel the heat/ Wednesday, June 14, 2006

wow, it feel like years since i blogged! :) and it feels so good knowing that pple are reading your blog and tagging! and saying, your blog's so dead! well, cause it proves that they are reading and checking on your blog. so encouraging:)

the holidays are so coming to an end:( a part of me is feeling good but the other part, i guess im going to dread school again. everytime when i think about the things tt i need to do in school, it overwhelmed me! apart from studies(which is REALLY a torture for me), there's so many pple i want to reach out too. and being the only christian(in class and level) i always felt like im doing it alone and the feeling somehow pulls me down:( having to stand alone in what im believing in and trying so hard to reflects God's unfailing love. sometimes i just feel like i have failed so badly, esp when my exams results doesnt glorify God, my school attendance(during holis too) doesnt glorify God and my attitude in school doesnt show God's love. but somehow thru all these, i feel tt and i know tt, God's working in His own ways, tt i cant see and cant understand. somehow i know He wants me to use His strength and not working on things by my own strength. and with my focus from the very beginning, to bring my classmates to Christ by the end of my sec school, i think i failed quite badly too. they came, they saw God's love and they all left. its been something im trying to really let go and let God. its easier said than done:)

CG's splitting! im so looking forward but somehow there's still abit of sadness. hahaa, im looking forward also to after the split, how each and everyone will grow:) i know God is using me in little ways, and im so glad tt my life does impact others. and looking back, i really thank God for all the struggles and trials tt i had gone thru. moving on after the trials makes me a stronger person, and being able to encourage others with my own encounter with God. God is God, He works in ways we cant see. but its the perfect way:D

and hey DARYL! if you are reading:) im so encouraged by you, really. your willingness to serve and your passion to seek the lost for God. and you have really been a very encouraging brother-in-Christ, not only to me but to many others:) thanks for everything ya?im so thankful tt sarah invited you to WEFC and God brought you here! we are all winners remb? cos we have God in our hearts. :) SHINE ON!

to all under construction members! take note! :
LAST CG OUTING TO SENTOSA. THIS SATURADAY, 17TH OF JUNE.MEET AT HARBOURFRONT MRT AT 11AM. WE WILL GO FOR LUNCH TOGETHER 1ST. HIGHLIGHTS: THERE WILL BE SHARING AND WORSHIP AT THE BEACH :D

and oh well, i kinda miss being yongling. heh.
and hey, i miss IDENTIFIED.

*how can one be so sucessful in one thing and failing so badly in another.?
yonglinggg.

you completed my life..
8:19 PM <3
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Feel the heat/ Tuesday, June 06, 2006

ahhh! im missing alot of things again :(
i miss under construction
SAWA team
my brothers!
daddy!
my family lah
i miss all the things we had done tog as a family!
i miss my panasonic VS3
i miss captain's ball
i miss catching up with pple
i miss eating unhealthy stuff
i miss i miss alot alot of things
and most of all, i miss being myself.

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thru these few weeks, i realised and experience how hard&seldom i turn to God first before men. its easier said than done. however, i cant deny tt God is forever faithful. even at times when i didnt go to Him in prayers first, He knows my heart.God acts before i do=) i really thank God for blessing me with SO much that i often lost count and sometimes even takes things for granted. but i really thank God for placing so many pple in my life tt care and love me. if there's something i really wish i have, it would be passion for His pple, be it believers or not. alot of the pple ard me would say tt i alrdy had this passion but i dont think so cause i think i dont love God's pple enough to care for them. i hate to be prideful, and sometimes i wish im not so self-centered. blessed to be a blessings ya? i should start to be a blessings too...

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my journey has been abit unsteady recently, but again, God is in control. every single thing ard me just reminds me of my dad. i went to visit my daddy ytd. i just sat there and just look at his photo. in my room when i look ard me, i saw the things tt reminds me of daddy. east coast park and changi airport reminds me of daddy too. we used to go there quite often. even on the road, all the cars reminds me of daddy. he used to drive me ard, to school and everywhere. :( even at home, i miss his presence. GOD, i miss daddy.

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absence makes the hear grows fonder.

yongling.

you completed my life..
7:12 PM <3
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Feel the heat/ Monday, June 05, 2006

this few days is the times i feel so close to my thermometer, :D having fever tt range from 37.5-39.2 . but if you been gg out eith me these days, you can see tt im still alive and i look perfectly fine and normal =) not dying yet.

went to send rays and pple at the airport today. it was quite a happy, sad and exciting scene. heh. felt so excited for tem:D and ya, gonna miss them for 7days, arghh! :( :( but im looking forward for breakthrus for them!

miss school today, had fever. but no exucse cause i went out too. gg to miss school tmr too, gg to visit daddy in the morning so ya. :) and wed, my brother army passing out parade! ya, anyways im having school this whole week lah. oh man, i need more discipline.

and ya, after sending sawa team off, went DG. for dont know what reason, so decided to watch movie with sarah. SHE'S THE MAN. hahaa, its so funny! :) yah, and after that, yaya...... and so on...

favour from men and God. im learning to seek GOD's approval.

no struggles, no progess,
yongling*

you completed my life..
8:37 AM <3
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Feel the heat/ Friday, June 02, 2006

sent my brother off to tekong today. spend almost the whole day there lah=) touring around the place. i know alot of you wont agree with this sentence but i still gonna say! tekong is such a nice place, great breeze and lovely scenery.<33>

as i walk into pulau tekong, looking at all the banner and listening to the song tt was played, i suddenly felt so proud being a Singaporean. having 2brothers tt is defending the country! and hahaa, i pass by jie and andrew comapny:) WHEE! :DD as i part with my brother, oh man, i really can feel IT lah. so sad, i miss my brother altho i know he will be good and well in there. but.. i miss my brother:( :(

oh and i made new specs alrdy! lovesloves:D and kor's coming back from batam tmr! :D :D.and im going to watch over the hedge tmr! of course with my movie partner and some others lah!

praying for family! praying that God will be my discipline, in times like now, that i will study hard and be home early and be home most of the times to takecare of mummy.

i need to force myself to grow up.

grow up..

yongling;

you completed my life..
7:31 AM <3
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Feel the heat/ Thursday, June 01, 2006

:DD i changed blogskin again, heh.

LIKE A STAR :DDDD

im like so super tired now lah, cant think properly, heh. i going to sleep soon! arghh, the sake sushi still swimming in my stomach. i wanna sleep! digest faster lerr.xD

my brother's going army tmr! AHHH :( :( :( miss miss<33 lovesloves="))">

and ya, my throat super pain lah, i cant stop coughing, its itching! =( AHHHHHH! AND IM SO SO DAMM FULL :(

you are one in a million.
yongling<3

you completed my life..
7:56 AM <3
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:DD i changed blogskin again, heh.

LIKE A STAR :DDDD

im like so super tired now lah, cant think properly, heh. i going to sleep soon! arghh, the sake sushi still swimming in my stomach. i wanna sleep! digest faster lerr.xD

my brother's going army tmr! AHHH :( :( :( miss miss<33 lovesloves="))">

and ya, my throat super pain lah, i cant stop coughing, its itching! =( AHHHHHH! AND IM SO SO DAMM FULL :(

you are one in a million.
yongling<3

you completed my life..
7:56 AM <3
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