Feel the heat/ Sunday, August 14, 2005
"wad u really wants in life?" , " u dun believe in God!"
this two sentence hit right into my face today.
i always tell myself i m not stress and i will be strong for God.
but i come to realise i m not. i dun even believe in God to bring mi thru my exams period.
was talking to john abt how i feel and how everything so difficult.
and i realised myself tt i m really prideful and i cant accept the things God wants for me.
i cannot accept facts and reality. i cant face it.
john said, " u know wad? u dun even believe in God, u dun trust Him enough.!" it smacks right in my face. it really does. i been praying and asking God to grant me favour. but true, i dun even trust Him to do it. i pray but i dun even claim the promises.
i guess i dun love God enough to give up my tv, com time for Him. for studies, for family.
i dun love Him enough to glorify Him with my life.
and i dunno wad i want for my life. and i dunno wad God wants.
today sermon speaks to mi too. i know God was calling me to be risk-takers for Him in sch and at home. i find it hard to step out to the front during the 1st time the song was sung.
i struggled to walk out. i was wondering and i was... lack of courage. so when the song was abt to end, i thought oh no, i cant, there is no more time le. and i feel bad not stepping out. God was calling me to go. He really is. surpisingly, pastor kenny asked for another altarcall and a 2nd song played. and he was looking at my direction when he said," ans God's call. make tt decision to be risk-takers for God. whatever strong holds you have in ur life, Jesus have set them free." the next moment, i was out in front. when pastor shern is praying for me, i can really sense tt God is so near. and so glad tt i m out in front. and His will for me to step out in faith in sch once again. and prelims and exams is nothing compared to Him. stress? Jesus have set me free from stress. and i know i havent been doing my best in studies. and the thing tt really struck me was when pastor kenny said," do whatever it is that you are able to do in your abilities and leave the rest to God."
*why didnt i trust God enough for my future? yongling, you dont love God enough*
God doesnt want me to have a half-divided heart.
yongling;
you completed my life..
8:32 AM <3
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